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"You
can almost smell the blood,"
remarked a recent art connoisseur.
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PLEASE NOTE: This Guide is no longer relevant due to museum location change!
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Latest Technologies: Galleon Gallery
In an attempt at state-of-the-art, interactive,
multi-sensory displays,
a toilet's flushing can be heard nearby the Galleon Gallery
to simulate the battering waves on the bow of a Spanish ship
in search of plunder. Studiously located in a used law bookstore
with authentic-looking textbooks, El Dorado features realistic
law students to peruse the tomes to add a touch of credibility
to the "bookstore."
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Treasure Hunt: Highlights of the Conquistador Collection
Print
this exercise and bring it to the Museum!
First one in your group to conquer the assignment WINS!
FIND:
- A
Four-foot embossed copper plate depicting Columbus' landing.
Early curators paid homage to this masterpiece by smoking the
peace pipe of sacred tobacco and using the plate as an enormous
ashtray.
- "Pizarro
on Ass," a limited edition foam conquistador on his favorite
beast.
- "Paint-by-number
Conquistador." The five and dime stocked bas reliefs
of these Spanish knights, and this unfinished Cortez got the best
of the unknown artist.
- "DeSoto
Ads." As the "car for conquistadors," the DeSoto
teamed up with the other Spanish-themed autos: El Dorado, the
Cortez camper, Coronado, El Camino, etc.
- "Man
with the Golden Helmet" by Rembrandt in five versions
from a fuzzy black velvet to a Conquistador Clock
- "Bloody
Cubist Matador" Attributed to Picasso (under a pseudonym)
as "Guernica 2: Send in the Picadors"
- "Graduating
Class." The five-headed foam bas relief is the centerpiece
of the museum, weighs only five pounds, and is non-biodegradable,
ever.
- "Black
Velvet Matadors," by Ascona, enhanced by a black light
for maximum psychedelia.
(The
Highlights Treasure Hunt is a K-12 activity
funded by the National Re-Education Association -- NRA)
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Conquistador
Curator's Corner
El
Dorado's dedicated curators vacuum the black velvet,
keep the simulated instruments of torture razor sharp
and preserve (or add) blood stains for added authenticity.
While most of these masterpieces were relegated to the
trash heap, these art aficionados have preserved this
little known movement from the obscurity of Goodwill.
As museum founder, Doctor Wentworth (pictured below,
with family), likes to point out:
"Our collection of conquistadors is simply
priceless;
they have no price."
Go
back to the
El Dorado Home Page
or
see the Treasures
of the Collection
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This online exhibition is brought to you by
"Every
day the same
old thing...VARIETY!"
See
more SnakPak exhibitions.
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