"You can almost smell the blood,"
remarked a recent art connoisseur.

Examine the Gallery Guide
or go back to the El Dorado Home Page
or see the Treasures of the Collection

PLEASE NOTE: This Guide is no longer relevant due to museum location change!


Latest Technologies: Galleon Gallery
In an attempt at state-of-the-art, interactive, multi-sensory displays,
a toilet's flushing can be heard nearby the Galleon Gallery
to simulate the battering waves on the bow of a Spanish ship
in search of plunder. Studiously located in a used law bookstore
with authentic-looking textbooks, El Dorado features realistic
law students to peruse the tomes to add a touch of credibility
to the "bookstore."


Treasure Hunt: Highlights of the Conquistador Collection

Print this exercise and bring it to the Museum!
First one in your group to conquer the assignment WINS!


  • A Four-foot embossed copper plate depicting Columbus' landing. Early curators paid homage to this masterpiece by smoking the peace pipe of sacred tobacco and using the plate as an enormous ashtray.
  • "Pizarro on Ass," a limited edition foam conquistador on his favorite beast.
  • "Paint-by-number Conquistador." The five and dime stocked bas reliefs of these Spanish knights, and this unfinished Cortez got the best of the unknown artist.
  • "DeSoto Ads." As the "car for conquistadors," the DeSoto teamed up with the other Spanish-themed autos: El Dorado, the Cortez camper, Coronado, El Camino, etc.
  • "Man with the Golden Helmet" by Rembrandt in five versions from a fuzzy black velvet to a Conquistador Clock
  • "Bloody Cubist Matador" Attributed to Picasso (under a pseudonym) as "Guernica 2: Send in the Picadors"
  • "Graduating Class." The five-headed foam bas relief is the centerpiece of the museum, weighs only five pounds, and is non-biodegradable, ever.
  • "Black Velvet Matadors," by Ascona, enhanced by a black light for maximum psychedelia.

(The Highlights Treasure Hunt is a K-12 activity
funded by the National Re-Education Association -- NRA)

Conquistador Curator's Corner

El Dorado's dedicated curators vacuum the black velvet,
keep the simulated instruments of torture razor sharp
and preserve (or add) blood stains for added authenticity.
While most of these masterpieces were relegated to the
trash heap, these art aficionados have preserved this
little known movement from the obscurity of Goodwill.
As museum founder, Doctor Wentworth (pictured below,
with family), likes to point out:
"Our collection of conquistadors is simply priceless;
they have no price."

Go back to the El Dorado Home Page
or see the Treasures of the Collection

This online exhibition is brought to you by

"Every day the same old thing...VARIETY!"

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